Spiritual Guidance Blog

“From a spiritual perspective, rituals are ways of expressing our gratitude for that which we are engaging in.”

Rituals go hand-in-hand with many spiritual practices and ceremonies. Ceremonies, in and of themselves, are imbued with ritual. So what is this ritual all about?

To explore rituals in our daily lives, allow me to share what my daily ritual is in regard the enjoyment of my morning coffee. To emphasize the intricate nature of the ritual, I itemize and bullet-point the process below:

• ·        First, fill up the kettle and place the kettle on the burner until it boils
• ·        While the water is heating up, take out the French press and coffee mug
• ·        Once the kettle has come to a boil, fill the French press and coffee mug with water to allow both the French press and coffee mug to heat up
• ·        Place the kettle back on the burner and allow it to come to a boil again
• ·        As the water is heating back up, take the coffee grinds out of the freezer
• ·        Open the bag and take a BIG inhale of the intoxicating aroma of the ground coffee beans
• ·        Empty the French press of water and scoop in the required amount of coffee grinds into the French press
• ·        Once the water has boiled again, poor just enough water into the French press to cover the ground coffee beans
• ·        Gently stir the water and coffee bean mixture
• ·        Allow the water and coffee beans to percolate for 60 seconds (the counting is even a ritual!)
• ·        Pour the rest of the desired amount of water into the French press
• ·        Gently stir the water and coffee grinds again
• ·        Allow the water and coffee to percolate for 3 minutes, 30 seconds
• ·        At the end of the percolation period, slowly and ceremoniously, depress the French press plunger and observe the plunger compacting the ground coffee beans to the bottom of the French press
• ·        Empty my coffee mug of the water that has been heating it and slowly pour my prepared coffee into the coffee mug
• ·        Wait patiently for every last drop of coffee to drain out of the French press into my coffee mug
• ·        Remove the plunger from the French press, empty the grounds, rinse out the French press, and place the French press aside to dry
• ·        Watch the steam rise from my coffee mug
• ·        Take a deep inhale of the intoxicating aroma
• ·        Gentle sip to taste…
• ·        Deep exhale and sigh of contentment…
• ·        Revel in my ecstasy…
• ·        Lose myself in bliss

I embellished the above ever so slightly, but not much!...all to make a point of ritual.

We use ritual to bring meaning and significance to our activities. We don’t actually need any aspect of the ritual, but we embrace the ritual so we can preserve the specialness or significance of the moment. Rituals are often associated with religious or spiritual ceremony, but we humans are pretty good at creating rituals out of pretty much anything—take the making of my morning cup of coffee as an elaborate example.

From a spiritual perspective, rituals are ways of expressing our gratitude for that which we are engaging in. Again, we don’t actually need any aspect of the ritual—and some spiritual practice invites us to actually lose the ritual aspect of our practice—but rituals are our way of respecting our traditions and practices. For many, without ritual our practice would be without meaning.

Think about what rituals you welcome into your daily life. Think about the rituals that form part of your spiritual practice. Consider what it would be like without these rituals. Could you give them up? What would your activities and practice be without your rituals?

A friend recently gave me a housewarming gift. The gift was a beautiful Calla Lilly (Zantedeschia Araceae for all you botanists out there). Being a lover of all forms of flora, I welcomed this plant into my home and immediately began to research the care needs for the Calla Lilly. To my surprise, the Calla Lilly thrives on a care cycle that is completely opposite to most flowering household plants.

Most flower-producing household plants require a rest period in the winter months (common exceptions may include African Violets and Christmas/Easter Cactus). Come spring, one usually increases watering and fertilizing starts shortly thereafter. These basis care instructions, along with sufficient light, will bring the plant into bloom for the coming summer months.

The Calla Lilly, however, works on the opposite cycle of care. One brings the plant into rest during the late spring and summer months. When the fall arrives, and the days start to shorten, one gradually picks up watering as new leaf growth emerges. Come late fall, new flowers should start to emerge and this is when fertilizing starts. With these basic care instructions in mind, along with sufficient light, the Calla Lilly will produce beautiful, ornamental flowers throughout the winter.

So I was quite excited about this plant’s new care cycle—something out of the ordinary. What became tough for me to accept was that during the rest period, ALL watering needed to cease. The plant needed to be allowed to lay dormant. All the foliage needed to be allowed to turn yellow and wither. In other words, in order to allow the plant to live again, I needed to let the plant die off.

Allowing the foliage to die off was difficult for me. I would see the parched soil and would reach for the watering can. I would gesture to water the Calla Lilly, but would remind myself of the need to allow the play to lay dormant. “How could I let such a beautiful thing die!?”…I would ask myself.

Nature is a beautiful teacher about letting go. Nature knows exactly what it needs to thrive. The Calla Lilly knows it needs to go dormant during a certain time of the year—it needs to die off. This rest period is necessary in order to save up its energies for a rebirth. This ‘laying dormant’, this resting, is rife throughout nature. Nature tells us, and shows us, how the natural cycles of birth and death merge to create a continuous cycle of life.

What could we learn from nature about this compassionate letting go in order to bloom again and live on? The Calla Lilly is not dead. It is simply resting up for its rebirth. What other birth and death cycles can we apply this teaching to? Where can you learn to let go knowing that in death there is rebirth…all as nature designed it.

“Heaven is not somewhere you go…heaven is somewhere you are!”

For much of my life I believed in the idea that heaven was somewhere I went, somewhere I ended up after I died. This belief was most evident in the religious tradition and practices I grew up with. However, the religious institutions were not the only source of this message.

Learning that heaven was a place I ended up was repeated throughout my educational experiences—from kindergarten to university. The message was ever-present is the media and the health-care system. The mortuary business, at least the mortuary business I was exposed to, held this message near and dear. And the culture at large imbibed and imbued this message. No wonder I believed this to be true! It was all around me.

And what an interesting thought system…to believe that heaven is somewhere else…somewhere you go once you die. At least it has eased the pain and grief of many a soul around the world to know their loved ones have ‘ended up in a better place.’

But what if…what IF…heaven is not somewhere we go? What if heaven is not a place we end up after we die? What then? What’s left? What’s left to live for?

What if heaven is the place we are? Right here, right now. Doesn’t the bible speak of such possibilities… “Thy Kingdom come. Thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven.” ? (Matthew 6:10, KJV)

What if heaven is a choice? A choice to live each day…for today: a choice for happiness; a choice for peace; a choice for love.

If right now, as you are reading this, you are saying… “Easier said than done!”… I may respond by asking… “Who is saying it’s easier said than done? Who is choosing how you feel? Who is believing a certain version of a story that you are playing in your head? Who is holding you back from living the life you have always wanted to lead?”

Why do we wake up some mornings and feel great, alive, ready to take on the world? And why is it that other mornings all we want to do is stay in bed and get some rest!? What makes us get on with our days…with glee?...or with disdain and resentment? Who is in charge of your day? Who is seeing what you are seeing?

These are, perhaps, some of the great philosophical questions of millennia. But what if the answer to all these questions is right HERE, right NOW, staring at you when you look in the mirror?

Here is what I have learned. Heaven is here. Heaven is now. There is no other place to go. There is no other place to be. There is no pearly gate. There is no judgement day. WE are the judge…and TODAY is judgement day. Each and every day you rise to meet the day, you ARE the judge.

Now…what’s the verdict?

Have you ever noticed how the same people keep showing up in your life? I don’t mean the exact same person, but more the same personality keeps showing up in your life. You notice it more acutely when the same sort of aggravating or annoying personality keeps showing up in your life.

Over the past seven years I have facilitated a lot of different study and discussion groups. Inevitably, one person shows up who wants to change things—sometimes just a little, sometimes a lot! Perhaps they want to change the format; sometimes they want to change the date, time, or duration of the meetings; sometimes they want to change the content and purpose of the group. It never fails; this dear soul eventually shows up at the study and discussion groups I host and wants to change things. Oh!...did I mention that in each of these cases no one was asked for their opinion; the dear soul simply came forward to ask for the changes.

These unsolicited requests always rattled the ‘controlling’ side of my personality. And I would always have a tendency to, at first, meet these unsolicited requests with resistance. I would always listen to what the person had to say and, many times, I would actually make changes based on their suggestions. But the underlying resistance remained and the frustration of having to make changes persisted.

So when the latest of these personalities showed up at a group I recently launched, I recognized them right away. In this case, the group had not even met for the first time and this dear soul was already making suggestions for change. The same old feelings came up for me again: the resistance; the frustration.

So I decided to heal these ongoing, repetitive, devolving emotions by simply being open to the possibility I had something to learn from this person. I trusted that this dear soul had come into my life for a reason (I may never know why in this lifetime) and there was something I had to learn from them. My change of mind and approach allowed my resentment and frustration to fade away.

In the latest example, some changes were made to the group’s functioning. But the real difference was how I reacted to the changes. I let go of my need to control and went with the flow. I realized nothing was ‘mine’ in this endeavor and process, and allowed myself to be open to letting go and going with the flow.

The next time that same ‘ole personality shows up in your life, just be open to them. See what happens.

In recent years I have been blessed to recognize when the initiatives and adventures I embark on are right for me at the time. It hasn’t always been this way, and I still sometimes ignore the messages and signs, but it’s much easier for me to know if something I have undertaken is the right thing at the time.

When I worked in traditional jobs and settings, one of the overarching principles and paradigms was to set a goal and don’t stop until you have achieved it. Sometimes achieving the goal was easy. But many times there was much struggle and sometimes you just felt like giving up. I taught myself that ‘when the going gets tough, the tough get going’…and I would labor on in the face of seemingly insurmountable obstacles. While there was always a sense of accomplishment associated with my victories and successes, there often were also battle scars to be treated and/or ‘showed off,’ depending on the situation.

That old way of working has given way to a new approach—an approach of recognizing and accepting that if things are meant to be, they will flow easily; if they are not, I will be shown. I no longer struggle with things I undertake. I set my intention and start the journey. If things go smoothly or manifest quickly, I know it is right and meant to be. If things don’t go smoothly, then I accept it as a sign that it may not be the right time to undertake such an effort.

This new approach does not mean I halt all production, give up, and drop everything I have been doing. What it does mean is I accept that life doesn’t have this, whatever it is, in mind for me right now. Maybe it means stopping; maybe it means taking a step back and re-evaluating what I am doing; maybe it means making modifications and taking a different approach. But what is absent is the struggling, the trying to force things, the anger, frustration, and resentment that something hasn’t worked out the way I intended it to.

When life flows, you know it’s right. When it doesn’t, consider asking yourself what’s going on. Life doesn’t lie.

Shanti, Namaste, Agapé,