Spiritual Guidance Blog
The Journey of ‘S’elf Discovery
by Robert Meagher on 10/02/20
In Richard Harvey’s 3-stage model of human awakening, the
first stage is all about the journey of self-discovery. The ‘self’ this stage
speaks about is the true, authentic self. It is often spelt ‘Self’ in spiritual
teachings, with a capital ‘S’.
What is this journey of ‘S’elf discovery? What does the
journey look like? How does one travel on this journey? Where does the journey
end? And what does one discover at the end? Who and/or what is this true,
authentic ‘S’elf?
What is this journey of ‘S’elf discovery? The journey
of ‘S’elf discovery includes a process of shedding early life conditioning.
This early life conditioning is poignantly adopted from childhood. Our early
years are formative and they can leave an indelible mark on us. This early life
conditioning is carried forward into our adolescent and adult years. The result
is a contracted adolescence and adulthood. We carry around remnants of our
early life conditioning and don’t move fully into adolescence or adulthood. We
are actually living a ‘kid-olescent’ and ‘kid-ult’ existence (kid + adolescent
= kid-olescent; kid + adult = kid-ult). The kid-olescent and kid-ult are
chronologically mature, but they are not psychologically mature. The result of
this ‘kid-escent’ or ‘kid-ult’ existence are behaviors, reactions and decisions
that are psychologically immature. The kid-olescent and kid-ult allows their early
life conditioning to infiltrate their existence and keeps them tied to their
early life experiences. Until the kid-olescent and kid-ult sheds their early
life experiences, they are subject to a limited life—a life limited by beliefs
of who they think they are, what they think the world is, and what they think their
place is in the world.
What does the journey look like? The journey of
‘S’elf discovery is a lot like ‘peeling the layers off an onion.’ Our early
life experiences result in the building up of layers of protective covering
that grew as a result of our sense of danger and a need to protect ourselves
from what we thought was going on around us. As each layer of the protective
child-hood covering is peeled away, scars are revealed. The sensation can be
like ripping a band-aide off a festering sore. Eventually the scars heal,
however, until the next layer is peeled away. You may notice, however, that as
each layer of the onion is peeled away, the core of the onion becomes a lighter
and lighter color. So too is the journey of ‘S’elf discovery. As we shed more
and more of our childhood conditioning, our story becomes more bathed in light.
The brighter the light becomes, the purity of our true, authentic ‘S’elf starts
to reveal it’S’elf.
How does one travel on this journey? There is no one
way to travel on the journey of ‘S’elf discovery. Each one must find his/her
way. Most people never find the courage to undertake the journey. But for those
that do, there are many decisions to make along the way. Do I go this journey
alone? Do I work with someone? Is there a community of people who could support
me through the journey? The Way of Sacred Attention teaches there are three
pillars of personal and spiritual growth and development: the teacher, the teaching,
and the sanga, or spiritual community. The journey of ‘S’elf discovery is
similar. One can benefit from a teacher (or therapist, or healer), a teaching
(a method or modality), and a sanga (a community of people that can support the
seeker on their journey).
Where does the journey end? The journey of ‘S’elf
discover may never end, as we hopefully continue to learn about ourselves our
entire embodied lives. However, at a point we realize all the beliefs we held
about ourselves, the world, and our place in the world, have changed. We
realize we are not the person we thought we once were. We arrive at this point
through forgiveness, in the spiritual sense. Forgiveness arises as a practice
of letting go of the past with the realization that what we thought happened to
us never actually did—it only happened in our mind. It did not happen in truth.
What does one discover at the end? This is a very personal
question. Not everyone discovers the same things. But there are some common
themes that emerge for those who have shed their early childhood conditioning.
Those who have emerged from their early childhood conditioning have done so
because they have learned how to forgive. They have risen into the heart space
that is filled with love, harmony, compassion, and joy. The tell-tale sign of
someone who has shed early childhood conditioning is they have rediscovered a
sense of peace in their life. What we may discover at the end is our true,
authentic ‘S’elf.
Who and/or what is this true, authentic ‘S’elf? Our
true, authentic ‘S’elf is devoid of attachment to anything or anyone. We no
longer cling to our story. We no longer find value in the past and all that it
meant to us. We jettison our story of early life experiences. We hold on to
nothing. We learn to live in the eternal ‘now.’ While we may plan for the
future, we accept whatever happens, not what we may have planned for or wanted
to happen. Our relationships are not based on what we need or want from the
other person, but what we can share with the other. Our true, authentic ‘S’elf
learns that in giving we receive and that the only thing worth giving is love.
Alas, we realize that the only thing we want to do with love is to give it
away. We rest in peace knowing that this love will return to us, because we
have given it away.
Robert Meagher has been ordained as an Interfaith Minister and certified as a Sacred Attention Therapy (SAT) Therapist. Robert is the Founder and Spiritual Director for Spiritual Guidance and Co-Founder of the Center for Human Awakening.
Allow Things To Go Where They Need To Go
by Robert Meagher on 09/02/20
As some of you may know, I facilitate numerous online study
groups each week. These study groups bring together an eclectic mix of people
from North America, Europe and beyond.
These study groups gift those in attendance with a rich
discussion and sharing. The variety of views is astonishing at times. While
there is much alignment among the participants, sometimes there can appear to
be disagreements about what is shared.
I usually begin each gathering with a piece of poetry, then
a few minutes of silence, as grounding meditation, and then we move into the
evening with a reading. The remainder of our time together is used to reflect
on the reading. People share their questions, comments, reflections and
inquiry.
As the sharing portion of the gatherings unfold, sometimes
the discussion can go in interesting directions. Usually the discussion
meanders and bounces around. Sometimes I attempt to bring the discussion back
to the focus of the initial reading. Sometimes I don’t. I have received
comments from participants, outside of the study group gatherings, that
discussion sometimes get off topic and that they would prefer the discussions
remain focused on the topic at hand.
As the years have rolled on, I am becoming more and more
comfortable allowing the discussion threads to take us where they need to go.
Granted, even I have limits on where the discussion may take us. But I am a
patient man and will at least, initially, allow most any discussion to be
brought into the gathering. What I have learned is that discussion threads take
us where our healing is needed. If we truly learn how to listen, there are
healing words offered in any discourse. We simply need to learn patience.
In a recent gathering, one of the participants chose to
share a personal experience of how they dealt with their fears. This person’s
sharing about fear was not directly related to the initial reading. However,
there was one small snippet of their sharing that touched me at a soul level
and provided much healing. Others in the group also expressed their gratitude
for this sharing on how to deal with fears.
I have witnessed all too frequently that the words that are
spoken in the gatherings are of healing to at least one other person in the
meeting space. The words we speak will always resonated with someone. That is
why they are spoken. I remember one particular gathering where there was a
rather vocal and boisterous sharing that resembled a preacher standing on the
pulpit in a church spouting off biblical verse after biblical verse. While most
of the people in the gathering cringed at the discord, there was one person who
later (after the gathering) shared with me that they received much healing from
the ‘preaching.’
It has been said that If we truly learn how to listen,
everyone becomes our teacher. Every word that is spoken can offer something to
someone. The key is patience. Sometimes the person speaking themselves is the
person who needs to hear the healing words. Sometimes the act of speaking our
mind is healing in, and of, itself. Often times, the healing is extended to
those around us too.
Be patient and kind with others. Allow, even facilitate,
them to say what it is they need or want to say. You may be surprised where
your listening takes you.
Robert Meagher has been ordained as an Interfaith Minister and certified as a Sacred Attention Therapy (SAT) Therapist. Robert is the Founder and Spiritual Director for Spiritual Guidance and Co-Founder of the Center for Human Awakening.
An Endless Cacophony of Worthless Activity
by Robert Meagher on 08/02/20
Photo Credit: pexels.com - Aleksejs Bergmanis
This past month has felt busy. There has been an endless
list of things to do. My days felt more full than usual. Most days I would look
back over the list of things I wanted to do, to realize they did not get
completed. The uncompleted items would be added to the ‘to do’ list for the
next day. And so, it went for much of the month.
During one of my welcomed day-long bike trips one weekend, I
reflected on my busyness. I actually enjoy having a lot of things to do. And I
enjoy even more the sense of accomplishment associated with getting a long list
of items scratched off my ‘to do’ list. But sometimes that ‘to do’ list becomes
a source of discord.
As I peddled my way along the beautiful roads and pathways
on a brilliantly-beautiful summer’s day, I was struck by the meaninglessness
and worthlessness of my busyness and, in particular, my ‘to do’ list. Oh yes,
there’s a certain practicality to life. There are some things that must be
done—brushing one’s teeth, going to the grocery store…to name but two simple
necessities. But when I look at my ‘to do’ list with a decerning eye, most of
the things on the ‘to do’ list could go without ‘doing’ and the world would not
come to an end.
Most of the items on the ‘to do’ list is a cacophony—a harsh
discordant mixture of tasks—of worthless activity. I can create a very
convincing argument for wanting, needing even, to complete the tasks. But when
it comes down to it, not completing the task won’t have a significant affect on
my life. In truth, none of the items on the ‘to do’ need doing at all!
There is a beautiful lesson from a spiritual teaching that
speaks of the healed mind not planning.[1]
The teaching does not condone not planning. On the contrary, planning can have
very practical and useful applications in our lives. For example, making a
grocery list can be a helpful task when it comes time to go to the grocery
store—when we arrive at the grocery store, we have a pretty good chance of
getting what we need.
However, what the healed mind realizes is the reason we plan
and make the ‘to do’ list. We plan and make the ‘to do’ list because we are
afraid of what would happen if we didn’t plan. The healed mind understands the
underlying impetus for needing or wanting to plan.
Is having an endless cacophony of worthless activity bad? Is
having a ‘to do’ list bad? Is planning bad? Certainly not! So long as one is
open to what life actually gives us, in amongst our planning, then plan away.
The healed mind understands that when we plan, God laughs!
Robert Meagher has
been ordained as an Interfaith Minister and certified as a Sacred Attention Therapy (SAT) Therapist. Robert is the Founder and Spiritual
Director for Spiritual Guidance and Co-Founder of the Center for Human Awakening.
Choose Once Again
by Robert Meagher on 07/02/20
Last month I dealt with a situation simply by choosing once
again. In this situation that was causing me some dis-ease, I chose to shine
some light on it and see it differently. Sound mysterious? It wasn’t. It was
rather easy, and natural. Let me explain further.
Have any of you heard of PayPal? If so, perhaps you have had
experience using and working with this online payment service. I have been
using PayPal for my ministry work for almost a decade.
After almost a decade of using PayPal, last month I started
to get requests for documentation from PayPal. I found these requests a bit
odd, given that I had been using this account for almost a decade and had never
had any such requests from PayPal. I began to provide the requested
documentation. As each request was filled, another request for other
documentation would come forth. Sometimes PayPal would ask for more detailed
documentation and something PayPal would ask for other information. At some
point PayPal indicated they may place restrictions on my account until they
received the documentation they requested.
This situation went on for several weeks. It started to
become frustrating when I would be asked to resubmit the same information I had
already submitted. I became aware that different PayPal representatives were
asking for information from me each time. It appeared that whatever issue
PayPal was trying to address, different people were communicating with me that
clearly had not been privy to the communication I already had with other PayPal
representatives. The result of this multi-faceted approach to problem solving by
PayPal was that I sometimes had to repeat the communication I already had with a
representative.
The longer this situation went on, the more frustrated I
became. Until one morning…
When I awoke, my first thoughts were about the unfolding
situation with PayPal. All my frustrations came bubbling to the surface. But
another thought also came bubbling to the surface. I asked myself… “What if I’m
not seeing this situation correctly? What if PayPal is actually trying to help
me? It seems like an odd way to help someone, but what if???”
As I sat with these questions for only a minute, my thoughts
about the situation started to change. I began to see that all the requests by
PayPal were not negative, or bad, or even frustrating. I began to see how the
experience was actually helping me to better understand how PayPal worked and
how I could make PayPal work better for me. By the time I left my room, only a
few minutes later, I was excited about these new insights and somehow felt like
the problem had been solved for me.
About an hour later I turned on my computer to start my
workday. Greeting me in my email inbox was a message from PayPal stating that
the issue with my PayPal account (for which there never was a clear description
of what the issue was!) was resolved and my account status had been returned to
normal.
It felt clear to me that the resolution to whatever the
problem was, had nothing to do with the documentation I had provided (or not). The
resolution to the problem was my choice to see the situation differently. In
this case, once I began to see the situation as something other than
threatening, a new possibility emerged. I began to see the situation as
something that could help me. Ultimately, my vision changed from one of fear to
one of love.
Robert Meagher has been ordained as an Interfaith Minister and certified as a Sacred Attention Therapy (SAT) Therapist. Robert is the Founder and Spiritual Director for Spiritual Guidance and Co-Founder of the Center for Human Awakening.
Are You Experiencing Suffering? Or Are You Suffering Your Experience?
by Robert Meagher on 06/03/20
So…here we are! Smack dab in the middle (a
metaphorical expression) of what has been labelled a global pandemic. This
surely must be fertile soil for suffering! Or is it? The currently evolving
situation reminds me of the somewhat-whimsical Buddhist parable about
suffering:
The student runs to the spiritual
teacher. “Teacher, teacher,” says the student. “I am experiencing suffering.”
After listening to the student’s tales of woe, the teacher responds, “You are
not experiencing suffering. You are suffering your experience.”
The first change I experienced in my life
was that my local recreation center closed. I would faithfully go to the center
on Monday, Wednesday and Friday for a noon-hour swim. I had been swimming laps
for more than 40 years. Now, all of a sudden, I couldn’t. What was I to do?!
After a couple of days I adjusted to this new state of being with an acceptance
that, for some reason that has not been revealed to me yet, life (my name for
God) does not want me swimming at this time. I dusted off my yoga mat,
resurrected some of my Yin, Hatha, and Ashtanga flows, and designed some brand
new cross-training workouts I could easily enjoy from the comfort of my home
and that would keep my healthy and fit.
The next change to my lifestyle was I could
no longer go to the grocery store and simply walk in to the grocery store. I
now had to wait in line to get in. Public health authorities were limiting the
number of people allowed in the grocery store at any one time, and this meant I
would sometimes be faced with having to wait to get into the grocery store, if
the store capacity had already been reached. After a couple of occurrences of
waiting in line, I accepted this new experience as an opportunity to welcome a
new meditation session in my day. I would often wait for 15-30 minutes to get
in the store. What better way to pass the illusion of time than to ground
myself, get peaceful, and meditate—yes, while standing, waiting in line to get
in the grocery store.
The next change to my lifestyle was caused when
our neighboring province closed its borders to our city. I live in a city that
is situated on the shores of a river. On the other side of the river is another
province. The river is only a few hundred meters across and is spanned by
several bridges. Police had set up posts on each bridge and were stopping all
pedestrians, cyclists and motorists from crossing the bridges and entering the
other province. This situation was initially quite a jolt for me. I am an avid
cyclist and the terrain on the other side of the river is outstanding for
cycling. I quickly accepted that given the predicted trajectory of the evolving
pandemic, I would not likely be cycling on the other side of the river for the
upcoming season. I turned my attention to other options to enjoy cycling for
the season. I realized that I had never explored the towns and villages south
of the city. When I researched cycling options south of the city, I was very
pleasantly surprised to discover that there were many hundreds of kilometers of
dedicated cycling paths that offered the cyclist many options for short-,
medium-, and long-distance cycling rides. I am looking forward to discovering
all the new pathways this upcoming season.
The preceding anecdotes are only three
examples of how I was able to look at a situation differently and transcend
suffering. In each situation, I did initially feel sadness, frustration, and
even anger. I felt like something was being taken away from me. In each
situation I asked myself “How is my sadness, frustration and/or anger helping
me?” In each situation the answer was “It’s not!” And I proceeded to look for
others ways to get physical exercise or adjust to a new way of living.
Adjustment was key for me. I needed to
change. In the case of my recreation center being closed and not being able to
go swimming, I needed to change the form of exercise I did in order to stay
physically healthy. My ability to adjust to the change was only possible
through an acceptance of life on its terms. If I resisted the change, then I
suffered. But if I accepted the change, I opened the door to opportunities for
peace.
As the Buddhist teacher imparted to the
student in the parable that started this article, it wasn’t about experiencing
suffering. It was about choosing, or not, to suffer my experience. I chose not
to. And that choice allowed me to accept what life was offering me. And the
acceptance of what life was offering me, removed suffering and offered peace.
Robert
Meagher has been ordained as an Interfaith Minister and certified as a Sacred Attention Therapy (SAT) Therapist. Robert is the Founder and Spiritual
Director for Spiritual Guidance and Co-Founder of the Center for Human Awakening.
