Spiritual Guidance Blog

Have you ever heard of the ‘butterfly effect’? In simple terms, it refers to small changes in one system or area leading to large-scale and unpredictable variation in the future state of another area or system. The example I have most often heard to describe this theory is that a butterfly flapping its wings in Mexico can cause a hurricane in China. You get the idea.

While the ‘butterfly effect’, like any theory, sounds good on paper, it is sometimes hard to imagine it having a real and lasting impact on your life. Well…the butterfly effect came to life for me in the past couple of months.

Perhaps you are aware of the still-unfolding, geo-political situation surrounding Canada detaining, and recently releasing, Meng Wanzhou, Hauwei’s CFO. While Ms. Wanzhou has finally returned to China after several years of detainment in Canada, the diplomatic outfall of the situation will no doubt be felt for years to come.

Like many people, I never knew Ms. Wanzhou. I still don’t. Even though I was aware of the global significance of Ms. Wanzhou’s detainment, I never thought it would affect me directly…until last month.

One of the joys of my life over the past three years has been teaching English as a second language to Chinese children (online). I have grown to truly enjoy my time with the children and feel inspired by spending time with them.

Since August, the Chinese government has slowly been restricting the teaching of Chinese children by foreign teachers. These restrictions have come in the form of new legislation aimed at companies (whether domestic or foreign) that offer Chinese parents the opportunity to teach their children English. Along the way, credible news sources such as BBC, Bloomberg, and the New York Times, have provided some insightful analysis of the unfolding decisions by the Chinese government. The impact of the Chinese governments regulations is that hundreds of thousands of English teachers around the world (mostly Canada and the US) have lost their jobs.

Did the situation with Meng Wanshou influence the Chinese government’s decision to restrict foreign teachers from teaching Chinese children? Some news sources (previously stated) say yes, directly. Other news sources say ‘indirectly’. According to these same news source, the Chinese government’s new education regulations would not have come into affect if Meng Wangshou had not been detained.

So…I never knew Meng Wanshou, I still don’t, and I never met her. But according to credible news sources, the decimation of the English as A second language industry globally—an industry worth 100s of billions of dollars annually—has been as a result of the events surrounding Mang Wanshou.

What all the preceding has emphasized for me is how we are all interconnected. What we say, what we do, dare I say what we think, affects everyone, everywhere. We may never know the impact of our words, our actions, our thoughts. And we certainly may never meet the people we affect, but everything we do, in every minute of every day, affects the entire world.

The preceding experience has been a clarion call for me to practice kindness and love with everyone I meet. I may never know how my kindness and love impacts others, and that’s okay, but I’d much rather my kindness and love affect people than the alternative!

Robert Meagher has been ordained as an Interfaith Minister and certified as a Sacred Attention Therapy (SAT) Therapist. Robert is the Founder and Spiritual Director for Spiritual Guidance and Co-Founder of the Center for Human Awakening.

One day last month, while I was eating my lunch, my thoughts wondered to a person in my life. This person had come into my life within the past couple of years and made it clear they wanted to be friends.

In the months that followed, this person communicated with me regularly, inviting the ‘friendship’ to grow. I was not keen on developing a ‘friendship’ with this person. Having them as an acquaintance was fine; but friendships take time and energy to develop and nurture, and I was not willing to invest my time and energy into developing a friendship with this person. My lack of willingness was due, in large part, to my judgements about this person and the company they kept. So, over the months since this person initially reached out, we have shared an acquaintanceship, but nothing more.

Also, over the months since this person initially reached out, I have become aware of the kindness, caring, and good deeds this person has shared with others. I have seen firsthand just how kind and thoughtful this person can be. I have witnessed how loving this person can be. But still I kept my heart closed to anything more than an acquaintanceship based on my continued judgements about this person and the company they kept.

So last month when I thought of this person over lunch, I asked myself, “What if they truly are the kind soul they appear to be?” I felt my heart opening. I felt the barriers to my extending love to this person coming down.

I then asked myself… “What if I miss the opportunity to love this person?” A sense of dread came over me. Do I really want to go through my life closing myself off from this person? Do I really want to go through my life closing myself off from anyone?

It doesn’t mean I have to change how I interact with this person who reached out a couple of years ago wanting to be friends. I don’t have to call them up, apologize on bended knee, and grovel for forgiveness. It doesn’t even mean I have to now become friends with them. What it means for me is that I can now see this person as the blessed, dear soul they truly are. I can remove my blockages to love and open my heart to them. I can stop hurting myself by withholding my love.

So here’s an exercise for you…

1. Think of someone in your life that, for whatever reason, you have kept a distance from. Maybe you just don’t want to get close to them. Maybe you don’t like them. Maybe you see them as your enemy.
2. Ask yourself… “Is it possible there is some good in this person?”
3. Ask yourself… “Will I allow myself to see this good in this person?”
4. Ask yourself… “Can I accept that this person is a good person?”
5. Ask yourself… “Can I accept that this person is worthy of love?”
6. Ask yourself… “Am I willing to extend my love to this person?”
7. After you run through the questions above in regard to anyone in your life that you are holding yourself back from loving, check how you now feel about this person. Has anything changed?

What if you miss the opportunity to love someone? Loving someone is not as difficult as it might seem. It’s actually the most natural of all emotions, actions, and behaviors. We all know it. Now…let’s do it!

Robert Meagher has been ordained as an Interfaith Minister and certified as a Sacred Attention Therapy (SAT) Therapist. Robert is the Founder and Spiritual Director for Spiritual Guidance and Co-Founder of the Center for Human Awakening.

Last month I headed off on one of my day-long bike rides to bask in the beauty of the Gatineau Hills. For hundreds, if not thousands of cyclists, the Gatineau Hills is a cycling haven and summertime playground. After a couple of loops of the park, I decided to stop to have my lunch. When I hopped back on my bike, I was met with a completely deflated (flat) back tire.

I knew I had a bike repair kit in my pannier bags. However, I had a flat tire repaired at the bike shop the day before and the bike shop had installed a style of inner tube that had a nozzle that my bike pump did not fit. Even if I could repair the leak in the inner tube, I would not be able to pump up the tire. I resolved myself to having a nice, yet very long, walk home. I was at the furthest point from home, about 30km, and figured it would take me 4-6 hours to get back home on foot.

Less than 5 minutes into my walk home a young man and woman cycling by and stopped to ask if I needed help. I explained my situation and the young woman said she had a pump that would fit the nozzle on my inner tube. We proceeded to pump up the tire. I thanked the young couple and hopped on my trusty steed, relieved that I may be able to cycle back home.

After less than a kilometer, I could tell my tire was losing air again. I was able to coast down a low-grade hill for another kilometer to arrive at a major intersection which served as a major congregation for cyclists, hikers and nature lovers alike.

I hopped off my bike, my tire almost completely deflated by this point. It took less than 2 minutes and a young man stopped and asked if I needed help. I explained my situation. We discussed the options to repair the leek, sufficiently to enable me to get home, and both felt that if I could inflate the tire to a high tire pressure, it should last me until I get home (as this was the case the day before). This young man had a bike pump required for my tire tube and pumped up my tire for me, nice and firm. I felt confident this would do the trick. I thanked the young man for his kindness and headed off toward home.

I cycled less than another kilometer, and the tire was losing air fast. I knew that this tire had to be replaced. I remembered at this point that I had a spare inner tube in my pannier bag that had a nozzle that my bike pump would fit. But this bike, which I got last year, had disc brakes and I had no experience removing a tire with disc brakes. So, once again, I resolved myself to a shorter, yet still long (only 25+ kilometers now), walk home.

After less than a kilometer, I passed a popular picnic park. I decided it was best to call my partner to explain the unfolding situation and let him know that I would be later getting home than usual. My partner suggested I ask someone for help to drive me home. I thanked my partner for the suggestion, but explain that I would need someone with a flatbed truck to fit the bike in, as the bike would not fit in a regular car, or even a car with a hatchback.

Just as I got the words out of my mouth (“I would need someone with a flatbed truck…”), a man with a flatbed truck pulled into the picnic area. I couldn’t believe my eyes! He rolled down his window and asked me for directions to a local tourist site. Forgetting momentarily about my predicament, I gave the man directions. He promptly thanked me and began driving off. I then suddenly remembered I could have used his help. As I waved my arms to flag him down, I watched him speed off in the direction I had instructed. I stood there feeling quite forlorn! My ‘meal ticket’ had passed through my fingertips! So close…and yet so far!

Once again, I resolved myself to a long walk home and began my journey. Not more than a couple of minutes passed, and another young man cycled by, stopped, and asked if I needed help. I explained the situation, that I didn’t know how to take a tire off a bike with disc brakes. He smiled and said, “I have disc brakes on my bike and I had to repair a flat tire earlier today! So, you’re in luck!”, he said.

This latest savior patiently instructed me how to remove the wheel, replace the inner tube, inflate the tire, and put the tire back on the bike. Voila! Fifteen minutes later I was ready to roll! I thanked the young man and blessed him a good day. I called my partner to provide an update and informed him I would be home regular time, afterall. The cycle back home was uneventful.

On my cycle home, I reflected on the previous unfolding events. Four separate times someone stopped to help me. It felt like God was insistent that I not be stranded and kept sending in the reinforcements to help me get back home. The time spans between resolving myself I would be walking home and then someone showing up to help me were so brief! Literally less than 5 minutes in each of the 4 situations.

The experience has convinced me that help is always around us. We merely need to open ourselves to receiving help. In all cases, I simply resolved myself, calmly, that I would be walking home. “It was a nice day, and while it would be a long walk, I have lots of water and a bit of food, all will be fine.”, I thought. I allowed myself to accept the situation and went with the flow. In the acceptance, I removed my blockages to fear. With no fear, I believe I opened myself to help presenting itself, seeing it, and accepting it.

Robert Meagher has been ordained as an Interfaith Minister and certified as a Sacred Attention Therapy (SAT) Therapist. Robert is the Founder and Spiritual Director for Spiritual Guidance and Co-Founder of the Center for Human Awakening.

For some this will be no surprise. For others, this will be hard to accept. Here it is… whatever we are reacting to has nothing to do with the other. Let me explain with a personal story.

Last week I had to rush my partner to the hospital emergency. My partner was feeling very poorly, and had increasingly been feeling poorly for several days. My partner has been living with Parkinson’s disease for almost 20 years. During that time, we have paid many visits to the hospital emergency; too many to count. In each case the visits to the hospital results in a banter of tests being run that, with few exceptions, don’t reveal anything conclusive. Such was the case last week. That the doctors could not find anything wrong was, in one way, a blessing I suppose.

So as the events of that morning last week unfolded, a cornucopia of emotions ran over me like a mack truck! Everything from fear, worry, anger, frustration, anxiety, joy, love, compassion…you name it! Any and every possible emotion landed in my lap over the course of that morning and day. Perhaps you can appreciate that by the end of the day I was emotionally drained and physically exhausted.

It was only the next day that some clarity started to emerge over the events of the previous day. As the events unfolded, I perceived an ‘other’ in the unfolding events. In this case, the ‘other’ was my partner. I was seeing and feeling an ‘other’ person. As a result, I bought into the idea that the ‘other’ was causing me to feel whatever it was that I was feeling. If I was feeling fear, it was because the ‘other’ was causing this fear. If I was feeling worry or anxiety, it was because the ‘other’ was causing this worry or anxiety. Nothing could be further from the truth!

Every moment of that prolonged event—from the time we left our home to the time we returned—there never was an ‘other’ person making me feel anything. I was feeling something based on what I perceived was happening. My partner was not making me feel anything. I was ‘feeling’, full stop. I was feeling something. To suggest that something or someone was ‘making’ me feel something was abdicating myself of responsibility for what I was thinking, feeling, seeing, and doing.

In truth, whatever I am reacting to has nothing to do with the ‘other’. Anything I see or feel is my choice. No one or no thing can make me feel or think anything. I am 100% responsible for what I think, for what I feel, for what I see, for what I do.

Deeper than the preceding is the realization that whatever it is I am seeing, is only showing me myself. In the events of that morning last week, I was being shown some aspect of myself. It was being shown to me so I could learn about some aspect of myself. If I learn the lesson(s), the feelings associated with that event will not repeat themselves. If I don’t learn the lesson(s), then the event and associated feelings will most surely repeat themselves.

The implications for this teaching are far reaching. As I said at the beginning of the article, for some people this is old news. For others, this will be hard to accept. If you are in the former group, be glad. You have opened yourself to living in peace. If you are in the later group, and you find it hard to accept this truth, don’t worry. Life will end up teaching you, one way or another.

Robert Meagher has been ordained as an Interfaith Minister and certified as a Sacred Attention Therapy (SAT) Therapist. Robert is the Founder and Spiritual Director for Spiritual Guidance and Co-Founder of the Center for Human Awakening.