Just let it all go!

During January and February I had a blessed experience that allowed me to practice the art of ‘letting go.’ I was having an experience with another person that was not looking like or feeling collaborative. My perception of the situation caused me some irritation, sometimes minor, sometimes major. For the most part I was confused. I could not understand why the other person was reacting, behaving, and communicating with me in the manner they were.

About mid-way through January my disbelief in what was unfolding gave way to the acceptance that not only did I not understand why the other person was reacting, behaving, and communicating with me in the manner they were, but that I could not understand. Oh sure, I could easily hypothesize what was going on. And I could speak to the person and ask what was ‘really’ going on. But my acceptance was due, in part, to a realization that it was arrogant of me to think I could understand what was happening. I realized that it simply was not possible to fully understand all that was transpiring in the other person’s life to have them behave the way they were behaving. It was likely the other person was not aware either.

What this acceptance allowed me to do was to not get caught up in the building emotional aspect to the unfolding. I simply ‘let it all go.’ All of it! My perceptions. My judgements. My belief in what was right or wrong. I simply decided I was not going to allow myself to get drawn into any continued unrest, dis-ease, or conflict.

As I stepped back and simply observed what was transpiring, I was given the precious exercise and practice of not responding in anger to what were sometimes loud and blasphemous outbursts from the other person. My choice to not respond back with anger met with further invitations from the other person to engage in the unfolding battle. The emotional energy kept rising.

I realized, however, that the minor and major irritations I had felt early in the unfolding were veiled attempts to mask and suppress my own anger. You see…irritation, whether minor or major, is merely a flavor of anger. It’s all anger. Very simply, if we are not in a state of love, we are in a state of fear that most commonly manifests and expresses itself as anger, or less blatant flavors of anger, like irritation. But make no mistake about it—irritation is as much anger as all-out rage!

So I took my minor and major irritations into my meditation each day and allowed my forgiveness mantras and prayers to cleanse and heal my irritations and anger. This daily cleansing was such an important step in allowing myself to forgive both the other and myself. It was only through this forgiveness process that I could finally arrive at the place where there was no other person that I was experiencing. There was only a mirror showing me my own irritation and anger. This ultimate awareness was only possible by first acknowledging my dis-ease, but then to choose to let it go. The choice to let it all go gave me the little willingness I needed to heal through forgiveness.