What if I miss the opportunity to love?

One day last month, while I was eating my lunch, my thoughts wondered to a person in my life. This person had come into my life within the past couple of years and made it clear they wanted to be friends.

In the months that followed, this person communicated with me regularly, inviting the ‘friendship’ to grow. I was not keen on developing a ‘friendship’ with this person. Having them as an acquaintance was fine; but friendships take time and energy to develop and nurture, and I was not willing to invest my time and energy into developing a friendship with this person. My lack of willingness was due, in large part, to my judgements about this person and the company they kept. So, over the months since this person initially reached out, we have shared an acquaintanceship, but nothing more.

Also, over the months since this person initially reached out, I have become aware of the kindness, caring, and good deeds this person has shared with others. I have seen firsthand just how kind and thoughtful this person can be. I have witnessed how loving this person can be. But still I kept my heart closed to anything more than an acquaintanceship based on my continued judgements about this person and the company they kept.

So last month when I thought of this person over lunch, I asked myself, “What if they truly are the kind soul they appear to be?” I felt my heart opening. I felt the barriers to my extending love to this person coming down.

I then asked myself… “What if I miss the opportunity to love this person?” A sense of dread came over me. Do I really want to go through my life closing myself off from this person? Do I really want to go through my life closing myself off from anyone?

It doesn’t mean I have to change how I interact with this person who reached out a couple of years ago wanting to be friends. I don’t have to call them up, apologize on bended knee, and grovel for forgiveness. It doesn’t even mean I have to now become friends with them. What it means for me is that I can now see this person as the blessed, dear soul they truly are. I can remove my blockages to love and open my heart to them. I can stop hurting myself by withholding my love.

So here’s an exercise for you…

1. Think of someone in your life that, for whatever reason, you have kept a distance from. Maybe you just don’t want to get close to them. Maybe you don’t like them. Maybe you see them as your enemy.
2. Ask yourself… “Is it possible there is some good in this person?”
3. Ask yourself… “Will I allow myself to see this good in this person?”
4. Ask yourself… “Can I accept that this person is a good person?”
5. Ask yourself… “Can I accept that this person is worthy of love?”
6. Ask yourself… “Am I willing to extend my love to this person?”
7. After you run through the questions above in regard to anyone in your life that you are holding yourself back from loving, check how you now feel about this person. Has anything changed?

What if you miss the opportunity to love someone? Loving someone is not as difficult as it might seem. It’s actually the most natural of all emotions, actions, and behaviors. We all know it. Now…let’s do it!

Robert Meagher has been ordained as an Interfaith Minister and certified as a Sacred Attention Therapy (SAT) Therapist. Robert is the Founder and Spiritual Director for Spiritual Guidance and Co-Founder of the Center for Human Awakening.