Never Underestimate the Value of A Kind Gesture

by Robert Meagher on 07/02/14

“No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.”

… Aesop

A few months ago I was grateful to celebrate my 48^th birthday. That I have lived 48 years is a blessing in itself, but the milestone of my birthday paled in comparison to the deluge of kindness that was shown to me on that day.

Many hours before the day actual day struck March 17^th, birthday wishes started to flow in from around the world. On the day itself, dozens, perhaps hundreds, more kept flowing in. All seemingly, small, little gestures of thoughtful, caring and kind well wishes. But as they kept flowing in—too many to respond to each one individually, although I responded to more than 100—the totality of those individual, little gestures started to come into focus.

We so often take for granted a kind, little gesture—not only the affect and effect of receiving, but also the same in giving. We too often stop to thank people for seemingly, small, little gestures of kindness directed toward us without understanding what we are doing. For example, having someone open a door for us; or someone giving up their space in line to allow us to go ahead. We may say thank you for these gestures, but we barely take the time to stop, look the person it the eye, and connect with them on a soul level. We too often rush ahead in our hurried lives momentarily grateful that we have gained a few precious seconds in our unquenchable-thirst for efficiency and our illusionary quest to ‘get ahead of the game’ and ‘beat the clock’.

And the same holds true for offering a kind gesture to someone. We may think we are sending a simple, little birthday wish. We may think all we are doing is being kind and opening a door for someone. But something far more significant and meaningful may be happening in these simple, little gestures—both for the giver and receiver.

For the giver, you have stopped, for just a moment, pulling yourself out of your self-aggrandized sense of self and put someone else before you. You have realized, if only for a moment, you are not the only person that walks this earth and that all that life has to offer is also comprised of these moments to give of ourselves, truly, completely and freely.

For the receiver of these small, little gestures, are capable of nothing short of changing and/or saving lives. The piece of inspirational fiction below, by John W. Schlatteris, is a perfect example…

 One day, when I was a freshman in high school, I saw a kid from my class was walking home from school. His name was Kyle. It looked like he was carrying all of his books. I thought to myself, "Why would anyone bring home all his books on a Friday? He must really be a nerd."

I had quite a weekend planned (parties and a football game with my friends tomorrow afternoon), so I shrugged my shoulders and went on. As I was walking, I saw a bunch of kids running toward him. They ran at him, knocking all his books out of his arms and tripping him so he landed in the dirt. His glasses went flying, and I saw them land in the grass about ten feet from him.

He looked up and I saw this terrible sadness in his eyes. My heart went out to him. So, I jogged over to him as he crawled around looking for his glasses, and I saw a tear in his eye. As I handed him his glasses, I said, "Those guys are jerks." They really should get lives.

"He looked at me and said, "Hey thanks!" There was a big smile on his face. It was one of those smiles that showed real gratitude.

I helped him pick up his books, and asked him where he lived. As it turned out, he lived near me, so I asked him why I had never seen him before. He said he had gone to private school before now. I would have never hung out with a private school kid before. We talked all the way home, and I carried some of his books. He turned out to be a pretty cool kid. I asked him if he wanted to play a little football with my friends. He said yes. We hung out all weekend and the more I got to know Kyle, the more I liked him, and my friends thought the same of him.

Monday morning came, and there was Kyle with the huge stack of books again. I stopped him and said, "Boy, you are gonna really build some serious muscles with this pile of books everyday!"  He just laughed and handed me half the books. Over the next four years, Kyle and I became best friends.

When we were seniors we began to think about college. Kyle decided on Georgetown and I was going to Duke. I knew that we would always be friends, that the miles would never be a problem. He was going to be a doctor and I was going for business on a football scholarship.

Kyle was valedictorian of our class. I teased him all the time about being a nerd. He had to prepare a speech for graduation. I was so glad it wasn't me having to get up there and speak Graduation day.

I saw Kyle. He looked great. He was one of those guys that really found himself during high school. He filled out and actually looked good in glasses. He had more dates than I had and all the girls loved him. Boy, sometimes I was jealous! Today was one of those days.

I could see that he was nervous about his speech. So, I smacked him on the back and said, "Hey, big guy, you'll be great!" He looked at me with one of those looks (the really grateful one) and smiled. " Thanks," he said.

As he started his speech, he cleared his throat, and began… "Graduation is a time to thank those who helped you make it through those tough years. Your parents, your teachers, your siblings, maybe a coach...but mostly your friends...I am here to tell all of you that being a friend to someone is the best gift you can give them. I am going to tell you a story."

I just looked at my friend with disbelief as he told the story of the first day we met. He had planned to kill himself over the weekend. He talked of how he had cleaned out his locker so his Mom wouldn't have to do it later and was carrying his stuff home. He looked hard at me and gave me a little smile. "Thankfully, I was saved. My friend saved me from doing the unspeakable."

I heard the gasp go through the crowd as this handsome, popular boy told us all about his weakest moment. I saw his Mom and dad looking at me and smiling that same grateful smile. Not until that moment did I realize its depth.

Never underestimate the power of your actions. With one small gesture you can change a person's life. For better or for worse.

God puts us all in each other’s lives to impact one another in some way. Look for God in others.

What opportunities are there for you to receive and give kindness today? You may just be changing and/or savings the lives of someone—including yourself.

Shanti, Namaste, Agapé,