Opinions are...Opinions. Nothing Else.

“When another blames you or hates you, or people voice similar criticisms, go to their souls, penetrate inside and see what sort of people they are. You will realize that there is no need to be racked with anxiety that they should hold any particular opinion about you.”

… Marcus Aurelius

I recently witnessed two all-too-familiar experiences regarding opinions. The first experience involved one person sharing an opinion and another person being upset at that opinion. The second experience involved a person sharing his opinion and then becoming upset that others did not change their opinion to align with his opinion. Two different situations but with some common teachings.

As I watched both these experiences unfold, I was gifted with the reminder that opinions are only opinions, nothing else. Opinions are neither right, nor wrong; they are neither good, nor bad. Opinions are just opinions. Opinions may not even be ‘truth’; for opinion is of perception, and perception if of the mind. Truth is not born in the mind; truth it is born in the heart.

When we find ourselves upset at someone else’s opinion, we are allowing judgement to rule our thoughts and actions. Why do we choose to become upset at someone else’s opinion? Why have we become so arrogant, and invested so much in the way we think, that we assume we are right and, automatically, someone else is wrong—simply because they hold a different opinion.  Why do we lose our grounding when an opinion different than ours is shared with us? Are we really that weak in our conviction? Are we really that unstable in our state of mind? Are we really that untrusting of our God-given divinity to think that something or someone outside of us should alter or affect our state of being, here and now?

I was particularly grateful to my brother for the important lessons he was teaching me when he became upset that others did not change their opinion to align with his opinion. I was reminded that when we hedge our peace, joy and happiness on others accepting and/or adopting our opinions as their own, we give over our power to these people because we are giving over our power to something outside of us instead of staying grounded in our own internal strength and power. We are also allowing judgement to rule our thoughts by believing we are right and the other person is wrong. Our ego takes it one step further, however. It won’t stop at just knowing we’re right and the other is wrong. The ego wants to crush the other’s will into submission by twisting and manipulating their way of thinking to align with our way of thinking—that is total domination. As Deepak Chopra shared in his book “How to Know God”, just some of the things the ego is motivated by is to (a) win; (b) have power over others; (c) be in control; and (d) do it all my way.

Opinions seem to be natural things to have. In the end, I am left wondering about the value of opinions as I recall Shunryu Suzuki’s words… “I discovered that it is necessary, absolutely necessary, to believe in nothing.” What I think this Zen monk is offering us is that inherent in our beliefs are our opinions. Holding any opinion, firmly, creates beliefs and these elements create the conditions that cultivate judgement. And when we cultivate judgement, we cultivate dualism or separation. When we cultivate dualism or separation, we cultivate the conditions necessary for bigotry and prejudice. When we cultivate bigotry and prejudice, we cultivate the conditions necessary for hatred. And when we cultivate the conditions for hatred, we cultivate the conditions necessary for war. I am not saying that to have an opinion will, by default, lead to war. But I trust you can see a progression from opinion -> judgement -> dualism / separation -> bigotry / prejudice -> hatred -> war.

It’s okay to have opinions. But let me ask you this…would you rather be right or happy?

Shanti, Namaste, Agapé,